It is completely understandable why being ridiculed would make you angry. You are being punished unjustly when you have committed no crime. The bullies are committing a crime, and they're getting away with it---even getting rewarded for it. The adults who witness the crime usually neither stop nor punish the bullies. The kids who witness it, instead of looking down on the bullies for being the nasty jerks that they are, seem to look down on you, labeling you a weirdo, an outcast, a misfit, or a nerd.
In short, the bullies get to have fun and feel good about themselves; you get to be stigmatized. It doesn't really make any sense. The ridiculing should make the bullies look bad because their behavior is immature, stupid, cold-hearted, and obnoxious. But, incredibly, it makes you look bad!
People assume that, if you inspire others to ridicule you, there must be something wrong with you, not the bullies. This is outrageous nonsense. It's just as warped as thinking that, if you're robbed, you're the one who should go to jail, not the thief. Of course, I could preach on about the injustice of it all, and it might prove therapeutic for me, but it wouldn't do you any good.
You know it's a rotten situation. What's important is not the situation; it's how you handle it. Are you going to let the anger fester into rage, turning you into what everyone expects: a misfit with a big chip on your shoulder? Or are you going to control yourself, to channel the anger into something positive, proving to everyone that you are a perfectly normal, worthy person who does not deserve to be insulted?
There are a lot of productive ways to deal with and express your anger. Physical exercise in the form of competitive sports can be a healthy outlet. The sport does not have to be competitive, though. Even walking, jogging, and running by yourself can be very refreshing. For emotional exercise you could join the drama club and vent those overflowing feelings, and get a stage high while you're at it, by acting out a part in a play. Joining school activities will also increase your chances of making friends. No matter how shy you are, it's easier to open up to people when you're part of a team and feel the warm camaraderie.
If you're at the point where no positive outlets appeal you, where all you want to do is sit and think up ways to get revenge on the bullies or society in general, you are probably infected with rage. Perhaps you're actually considering carrying out one of your schemes. Well, before you possibly ruin your future, hurry to a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. There is no shame in seeking help from a doctor. Would you be ashamed to see a doctor if you had an ear infection? You'd just want to get better and get back to normal as soon as possible, right?
Anyway, if you want to get even with the bullies, the best way to do that---and to avoid rage---is to stand up for yourself in the first place, just as soon as they pick on you. Defending your dignity can be very gratifying. (That was a quick advertisement for Chapter 4.)
Whatever position you play for a sports team, whatever part you act out for the drama club, in real life do not accept the role of victim or outcast. When you feel persecuted and resent everyone for it, you separate yourself from the oneness you have with humanity. Despite how alienated you may feel, you are part of the human race. It is a misconception that no one has feelings like yours. It is a misconception that you are totally different from everyone else. You are special, valuable, and unique, yes; but you are not the star of a video game in which everyone else is some sort of monster out to get you. Do not give in to the "me against the world" attitude that makes you lose your ability to feel for others, to empathize with them. There are other people out there who are hurting. There are people who have a good character and a kind nature, and I guarantee they live closer to you than you think.
Find them.
This is excerpted from the Ebook "Time to Tell 'Em Off! A
Pocket Guide to Overcoming Peer Ridicule." It is for sale at the following address:
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