If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, And your data is corrupted because the index doesn't hash, Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house, Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, But your packet wants to tunnel onto another protocol, That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, And your screen is all distorted by the side effect of gauss, So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the program's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, Then you'll have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM, Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
sent in by Harry P.
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is whack?
Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Why are "wise man" and "wise guy" opposites?
Why do tug boats push their barges?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?
If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know
the batteries are dead?
Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why do they call it a TV set, when you only get one?
sent in by Carl who received it from Irene
Skepticisms is the longest word that alternates hands.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein.
The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments
The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk, with the shutter on backwards.
The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."
The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order.
sent in by Shuli
transliterated Hebrew phrase:
Slalom aleichem - greetings, all you Jewish skiers.
Am yisrael chat - the nation of Israel is engaged in conversation.
Char gadya - we'll have barbecued goat for Passover dinner.
Maoz tzar - the president of Russia will light candles this Chanukah.
Davis melech yisrael - the new king of Israel is thinking about
reestablishing the Jewish state in Oakland, CA.
Bum gali gali - the farmers are now too lazy to work.
Shea yisrael - the Mets are planning their first exhibition game in
Israel.
Java nagila - they're dancing the hora at the coffeehouse.
Lo yissa goo - I thank G-d for not being born a blob.
Pa nishtana - the kids are too young to ask the four questions, so
Dad has to do it.
Tee chamocha - what golfer is like unto Tiger Woods?
LA tovu - how goodly are the tents of Los Angeles?
Shalom rag - peace to all our congregation members in the garment
business.
Key mitzion - the torah has been locked up.
Ham tzfardaya - Pharaoh wished he had a French chef.
Boray prez hagafen - let's toast the chief executive.
Yerushalayim shed zahav - it's the most expensive storage container
in Jerusalem.
Nes gadol Maya sham - there was another great miracle in ancient
Central America.
Hamotzi lechem fin haaretz - a blessing for a tuna sandwich.
Chanukah lattes - strong coffee to go with strong potato pancakes.
Car mitzvah - if only the legal driving age were 13.
Chug gadol hayehudim - drink your beer fast while reading the
Megillah.
Simchat torch - the Israeli Olympics will start after the high
holidays.
Vianachnu . modem - we'll download the words to "Aleinu L'shabeach."
Laila toy - she has to tuck in her dolly before she goes to bed.
Kapir Lane - may Clark Kent's co-worker be granted atonement.
Dor valor - the passing of courage from generation to generation.
El Ax - a major staff reduction at our favorite airline.
Sam shalom - may every American's favorite uncle enjoy a lasting
peace.
sent in by Suzi
The views expressed in the articles and posts are those of the writer and not of
the Teen-To-Teen management and editorial board. To find out more about our organization or to make a contribution, please send email to Sarale at write@ttt.org.il
Support our sponsor David's Consultants RGA Ltd. All Rights reserved©, 1997-2008