Start the New Year with a Smile
Sent in by Bracha Kurtzer
DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters:
NO AMITY
SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
Smiles from the Bible
Sent by Nancy
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A. Ruthless.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in
liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew
out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's
Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda,
because the Prophets were all in one Accord.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer
lived in The Garden Of Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the
Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of The Land Of Israel was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark...
This comes from Michael Storch
One: Don't miss the boat.
Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six: Build your future on high ground.
Seven: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
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