A Letter to the Soul
By Bracha Kurzter
Think about the last time you thought about yourself:
Not if you're popular, or skinny, or good-looking:just yourself. Who are you? What do you tell someone if they ask "sum yourself up in 3 words?" Do you say what things you enjoy doing? What music you like listening to, what you want to be employed as when you grow up? Do you express yourself as socially introverted or extraverted? Do you tell about the scholastic or social accomplishments you've made?
I once read that the people who can sum themselves up in three words are only worth that much. Here is an example from the Tanach: when David was rejoicing and dancing while bringing the Aharon back to Jerusalem, it says that his wife Michal was critical of him saying that he was not modest as he danced. The Midrash asks, what does it mean he was not modest when he danced, surely being one of the most spiritually high, he took care to seeing that he was modest. What did Michal mean? It then goes on to explain that Michal meant was that through his dance, David bore all his essence, all his soul, so that the intimacy they had in their relationship had been nullified by being shared with the public. If this is so, then why was Michal punished with barrenness until she died? What David had replied was, "If you think that today you saw ALL of my soul, you are sorely mistaken. My soul has depths that not even I have uncovered." and therefore Michal was punished for assuming less of her husband and the deepness of their relationship.
What can WE learn from this? We as human beings, and especially as Jews, have an intrinsic value a thousand times more valuable than popularity and beauty. We have a purpose, a clearly defined heavenly function to execute. We cannot be summed up in three words, nor should we try- for if we can, it reflects poorly on our own self-recognition and self worth.
Being a Jewish teen in today's world, even here in Israel, is not simple. Things that were unthinkable to our ancestors are common everyday occurrences in our lives. We find it hard not to be seduced by secularity's shiny gleam. We easily succumb to peer pressure, and are weak when we try to swim against the current. We burn with questions left unanswered by the adults in our societies. We get mixed messages and it is unclear to us how we should behave. Some of us are so disconnected that even the strongest words of rebuke bounce off our glossy shells. We are lost.
Yet it is not hopeless, for we still have ourselves. Every once and a while we catch a glimpse of a deep thought running through our minds, and it forces us to ponder our purpose and direction. Sometimes that moment is ever so quick, and before we realize that it came, it has already left. How do we retain these bursts of inquiry and truth? Rabbi Akiva Tatz wrote in his A Jewish Teenager's Guide to Life that life is like exercise- in order to build up the muscles, you need to constantly work out. If you occasionally work out, it will not have a permanent affect on your health and fitness. So too with life; we have to constantly be on the ball, to continuously think about who we are, and if what we're doing will really bring us to our end-goal.
My fitness instructor always says "don't give up what you want for what you want NOW." Living life right is hard work, but think about it, it's our immortal goal: what could be more worth it?
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Write to Bracha at write@ttt.org.il
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