HUMOR

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer , ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pas on to oza pepl.

Oxymoron's...

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
3. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
4. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
5. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
6. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
7. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
8. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
9. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
10. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
11. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
12. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
13. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
14. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
15. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
16. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
17. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle

Click here for past jokes

The web www.ttt.org.il

Creative Writing	Join	Teen Editors	Jokes / In-the-Net
Advice	Photo Studio	Membership Map	Past Issues
Contact Us	e-pals	Links	Bar / Bat Mitzva Corner
Index	Articles	Bulletin Board	Social Action

TEEN-TO-TEEN is a project of the non-profit organization Sites for Education and Culture.
The views expressed in the articles and posts are those of the writer and not of the Teen-To-Teen management and editorial board. To find out more about our organization or to make a contribution, please send email to Sarale at write@ttt.org.il

Support our sponsor David's Consultants RGA Ltd. All Rights reserved^©, 1997-2008