Jokes

 Have a look who is Jewish


Asa Yoelson                      Al Jolson
Milton Berlinger                 Milton Berle
Fanny Borach                     Fanny Brice
Bernard Schwartz                 Tony Curtis
Bobby Zimmerman                  Bob Dylan
Ethel Zimmerman                  Ethel Merman
Elliot Goldstein                 Elliot Gould
Israel Baline                    Irving Berlin
Stephanie Federkrewcz            Stephanie Powers
Belle Silverman                  Beverly Sills
Betty Joan Perske                Lauren Bacall
Nathan Birnbaum                  George Burns
David Daniel Kaminsky            Danny Kaye
Edward Israel Iskowitz           Eddie Cantor
Benjamin Kubelsky                Jack Benny
Michael Orowitz                  Michael Landon
Allen Stewart Konigsberg         Woody Allen
Issue Danielovitch Demsky        Kirk Douglas
Sophia Kalish                    Sophie Tucker
Joseph Gottleib                  Joey Bishop
Natasha Gurdin                   Natalie Wood
Lyova Geisman                    Lee Grant
Joyce Penelope Frankenburg       Jane Seymour
Joseph Levitch                   Jerry Lewis
Melvin Kaminsky                  Mel Brooks
Gerald Silberman                 Gene Wilder
Jacob Cohen                      Rodney Dangerfield
Joan Molinsky                    Joan Rivers
Borge Rosenbaum                  Victor Borge
Amos Jacob                       Lee J. Cobb
Lazlo Lowenstein                 Peter Lorre
Emanual Goldenberg               Edward G. Robinson
Judith Tuvim                     Judy Holliday
Melvyn Hesselberg                Melvyn Douglas
Karen Blanche Ziegler            Karen Black
Ella Geisman                     June Allyson
Sidney Leibowitz                 Steve Lawrence
Abraham Isaac Arshawsky          Artie Shaw

              sent in by Tzvi G.

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  ALL ABOUT TATERS
  

Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but
don't want to soil their own hands.

             They are called "Dick Taters."



Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content
to watch while others do the work.


             They are called "Speck Taters."


Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault
with the way others do the work.

   
             They are called "Comment Taters."


Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to
agree with them.  It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet.

              
              They are called "Agie Taters."


There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get
around to actually doing the promised help.


              They are called "Hezza Taters."

Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not.
  

              They are called "Emmy Taters."


Then there are those who love and do what they say they will. They are
always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping
hand.  They bring real sunshine into the lives of others.


               They're called "Sweet Taters."
 
                                 sent in by Rena F.

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TECHNOLOGY EVEN MORE VERSATILE THAN COMPUTERS.

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-name "BOOK".

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology; no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere, even sitting in an armchair by the fire, yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD- ROM disc.

How it works: BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of recyclable paper, each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder, which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of your finger takes you to the next sheet. BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by simply opening it.

BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting. The Browse feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an Index feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval. An optional "BOOKMARK" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session, even if the BOOK is closed.

BOOKMARKS fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKMARK can be used in BOOKS by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKMARKS can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited by the number of pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool, named: "Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus - or - "PENCILS."

Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is being hailed as the precursor of a huge entertainment wave. BOOK'S appeal seems so certain that thousands of content-creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to the new phenomenon. Look for a flood of new titles soon.
submitted by JB

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Two men were in a big hole digging in the hot sun . When one of them said to the other, "Why are we down here digging in the hot sun, while our boss is up there in the shade?"
"I don't know", said the other, "why don't you climb out and go ask him?"
So the man climbed out and went to go ask his boss. He said. "Boss, why are we digging in the hot sun, when you are standing over here in the shade?"
"Intelligence." the boss said.
"What do you mean 'intelligence'?"
The boss said, "Well I'll show you. I'm going to put my hand on this tree and, I want you to make a fist and hit my hand as hard as you can."
So the ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss's hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree.
The boss said, "That's Intelligence!".

The ditch digger went back to his hole. And his friend asked, "What did he say?"
"He said we are down here because of intelligence."
"What's intelligence?" said the friend.
The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."

sent in by Lerrell

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