Submitted by Shoshana
Yom Kippur
Congregant : Rabbi, I know that Yom Kippur is next week.
The problem is that there is a ball game that
I just cannot miss at the same time.
Rabbi : Haven't you got a VCR that can record ?
Congregant : I never knew that I could record Yom Kippur !
 
----------

-------

After reading the below item, I must say I agree 100% (read it....
trust me!!!)
The Salary Theorem
"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never
earn as
much as business executives and sales people."
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation
based on
the following two postulates:
1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
Since Knowledge = Power and Time = Money
then Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity,
regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.
Don't you just love algebra.....
Yitz G.
--------------------
HOW SMART ARE YOU?
READ this sentence:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY
ONCE; do
not go back and count them again.
 
 
ANSWER
There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds
three of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got
five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six,
you
are a genius. There is no catch.
Brandie G.
-----------------
As you know, Mahatma Gandi walked barefoot most of his life,
which
gave him an impressive set of callouses on his feet. In order to
increase his sprituality, he ate very little which made him rather frail
and caused him to suffer with bad breath. So what does that make
him?
A: A super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
from Lyn A.
----------------------
Profound statements
*******************************************************
"God doesn't play dice with the Universe" - Albert Einstein

"Choice - The enchanted blade that shapes lifetimes" - Richard
Bach
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty
of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt
One Liners --submitted by Yitz.
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the
mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of
portraits by Picasso.
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I shopped.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
OTHERS here for?
Clones are people two.
 
As I said before, I never repeat myself!
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

TEEN-TO-TEEN is a project of the non-profit organization Sites for Education and Culture. To find out more about our organization or to make a contribution, please send email to Sarale at write@ttt.org.il

This site was produced by David's Consultants RGA Ltd. All Rights reserved, 1998

Virtual Jerusalem Site Terms, Conditions of Use and Warranties.